John Ross: How to paint like a Somalian

Welcome back to another tongue-in-cheek episode of How to Paint Like a Feminist, where the satire is thick and the brushstrokes are heavier than the policies behind them. 

Pull up a chair—yes, even that big red one resurrected by presidential approval—because today’s palette tells a familiar story: Somalia purple, hemp green, and a shade that’s supposed to be red but somehow ends up pink, which, frankly, fits the theme perfectly. 

As the hemp green gets smeared across the canvas like a wintertime mess you’d rather avoid stepping in, it becomes a metaphor for the latest continuing resolution being sold as fiscal responsibility under the new Trump administration, despite quietly carrying over Biden-era spending levels unchanged. Buried inside that same bill is a conveniently overlooked hemp ban, wiping out a $29 billion industry the government itself created just a few years ago—proof that what the government gives, it can just as easily take away, usually without warning and never gently. 

Add a couple coats of “liquid white privilege” for tax season realism, since the same people always seem to foot the bill, and the picture sharpens further: endless talk about job growth paired with policies projected to eliminate hundreds of thousands of jobs, dwarfing even the Keystone pipeline backlash Republicans once decried. 

The finished painting isn’t abstract at all—it’s painfully clear, a glossy illustration of contradiction, doublespeak, and the quiet artistry of doing the opposite of what’s promised while pretending it’s progress.




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@1TheBrutalTruth1 DEC. 2025 Copyright Disclaimer under Section 107 of the Copyright Act of 1976: Allowance is made for “fair use” for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, education, and research.

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